My mom has gained ground.
Last week she was in intensive care, and was doing very badly. She had a minor heart attack, but that was the secondary to her problems. Because her heart is being greatly compromised by her illness, it is not pumping properly. On the night the she went into the ICU, this heart trouble had caused about three quarters of a gallon of liquid to build up in her lungs. She was literally drowning. On top of that was the heart attack. She had one more episode like that while in the hospital, but since I have been here, she has been doing surprisingly well. She is up and about, and though weak, is leading a productive life. Last night she started to have some problems breathing again, but we managed to bring her back before things got too bad.
The doctors have said that she has anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few months, but we all have experiences of Doctors being wrong. I just hope that when it's her time, she goes quickly.
She and I have spent a lot of time talking about death, and what she has been going through. It's a real opportunity for us to experience something deeply meaningful and challenging together. We are planning on shooting and editing a video for her memorial service.
I have been spending my time getting her house in a more orderly state than it's ever been, which is quite a monumental task, given her pack rat tendencies. The ritual of cleaning is therapeutic unto itself, while providing a much better living environment.
Facing all of this is much easier now that I'm out here, though I am homesick, and I am missing my loved ones back home. Thank the lucky lord for the interweb and the tell-o-phone.
The fantastic date that I had on july fourth has panned out into a very compelling relationship. We are only a month into it it, and are being presented with this hurdle, and though I take nothing for granted, I'm hopeful that all will be well. She (as well as everyone else whom I love) has been very supportive, and is coming out for a visit in a week, which I am greatly looking forward to.
Off I must go for now!
Eeno mungo!
Really glad to hear your mom is doing better. Call me - I'll help in any way i can. You gotta see the theatre! - Could be a good place for you and your puppety little fucks!
magic joe's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 4, 2004 01:00 PMSorry to hear about your mother's troubles.
A friend of mine that I once lived next to in the East Bay has been in upstate NY for the past 10 months dealing with wrapping up his mother's estate and caretaking her after she had a major stroke late last fall. She is now a complete vegetable and will never recover, and he has the incredibly painful experience of wrapping it all up, fixing her house enough to sell, then committing her and getting back on with his life.
I mention this only to say that while it looks bad with your mother, it could be much much worse, given that the body simply can't handle things in the later years.
Unlike my friend's experience, I'm really glad you will now get to spend the final moments together and resolidify your relationship with your one and only mother. Susan Fredrickson had much the same experience, and I believe it profoundly changed her for the better (though I believe she was more estranged from her mom than you).
Hope all goes well and give yer mom a noogie for me.
muji's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 4, 2004 02:13 PMIan,
This may be your darkest hour, most humbling state, or another grounding point. My mother passed away after five months suffering 60% third degree burns. But the doctors made sure she did not suffer. But don't let me sadden you, you are not alone in your hour of change. Give your mother all of your love. I can only hope I will fulfill my mothers dreams for her.
Nathan
Nathan's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 9, 2004 01:07 PMSure loved meetin' yur mum, even if just for a short spell under the magnolia tree in Dael's yard. I will never forget the way she sat there quietly, listening to all our crazed stories, blinking, and saying everything with her kind wise eyes.
Sacto Seano's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 10, 2004 06:24 PMSure loved meetin' yur mum, even if just for a short spell under the magnolia tree in Dael's yard. I will never forget the way she sat there quietly, listening to all our crazed stories, blinking, and saying everything with her kind wise eyes.
Sacto Seano's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 10, 2004 06:25 PMIs there an echo in here? The needle is apparently skipping in the house of pushby. Mabye it needs a little lovin' bump.
's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 10, 2004 06:33 PM...Nope, no echo, my bad. My computer went crazy when I posted that comment. Sorry!
Nathan's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 11, 2004 08:57 AMIan... having just been through this, I wanted to tell you that I'm really glad you can be there. This is one of those big adult things. Too many people don't get this opportunity, and feel bad about it for the rest of their lives. Even when you feel like you're not doing enough, I know that your presence and affection means everything to her.
Take care.
Indri's werdz of wizdum, deposited here on August 11, 2004 12:43 PM