Blabbin'
How many times have I tried to get my sorry-assed blog going again?
Too goddamn many- at least as far as the follow-through went. I have that feeling that I am going to make a go of it again. I am hoping to get back into any sort of creative rhythm. THings have just creatively fallen to shit for me. I still have my odds and ends that continue, but I haven't gotten anything out there in a while.
There are many factors that silenced my blog, but the biggest is that there just got to be the fact that the majority of points of interest in my life were things that needed for various reasons to remain out of the public realm, since they involved the lives of others, who are mostly private people. When sitting down to write, I'd have these things burning hot in my mind, and to try to write about anything else was just worthless to me. Of course, there is still a lot of that, but I will do my best to find morsels of interest elsewhere.
Another thing that was a silencing factor is the fact that I have been feeling somewhat useless these days. Mainly since I have yet to kick-start any significant new projects, while at the same time, follow through with my existing ones (can anyone say "book?"). Add to that the fabulous and hilarious thigh slappers about the combination of me, hooch and gravity, and one could understand the silence of the keyboard.
So- here I go. Yet again, aiming to rev up the blog. So, here's a bit of my life:
My mom has lost some ground, but is still pushing on. We ichat often, so I see her (or at least a grainy, blurry, two-dimensional virtual her) routinely.
Here she is today, with her Dog, Cody.
The trip that I took out there last was really good for the both of us. For me, it made this process a bit easier. To be with her for a month, to reconnect for so long, in person, and to get a taste of what she is going through in her daily life these days was really healing for me. I am going to go out for her birthday on the first of November, and then hop back and forth between here and there for the holidays, until she needs more help on a daily basis. That is just as far ahead as I look these days. It makes it easier.
My relationship with Victoria is still going very well. It's very welcome to in a fulfilling and dynamic relationship. It is really one of the brightest spots in my life. She is terriff, and I feel quite lucky. Since I have been in such an unproductive space for a while, I do get routine pangs of insecurity, since she is so very focused and successful in her career, and I have pathologically been getting little done. Fortunately, I am familiar with my patterns, and I know that this phase will pass- but it doesn't keep it from being a bit nerve-racking from time to time...
I have gone back to glassblowing part time, to help insure that I remain somewhat solvent. I work in Berkeley, in a very well kept and professional shop. It seems to be working out. I am none to thrilled to have to get back on the torch, but until I get a new revenue stream coming in, it's what i gotta do.
Locke has spent months working on a system to figure out which direction he is going to head next, and ther are parts of that that have been inspiring to me. This is mainly due to the fact that I am so overloaded with impulses to head in so many different directions, that it completely shuts me down. I have yet to formulate a plan. I significant piece of difficulty comes from the uncertainly of how and when things are going to unfold with my mom.
So- there's a bit of my life. What I can write about.
The big, fat words of eeno at October 15, 2004 03:34 PM